Buh Bye Summer Vaca

that's it.
i'm done.
i'm giving up on you summer vacation.
6 days in and all you've done is let me down.
are you playing a joke on me?
if you are, it's not funny.
do you see me laughing?
cuz i'm not.
arguing siblings? expected.
boredom? a given. 
a sick son who pukes at the mall? i can deal. (barely)
BUT
the pooping-her-pants-at-my-house neighbor kid is where i draw the line.
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!
i'm dead serious. 
do you know how disgusting it is to walk around your home and find smeared neighbor poop?
of course you don't. your life consists of animal shaped clouds, delicious popsicles, and perfectly bahaved children running through sprinklers.
i knew i was smelling something funky.  
i knew it.
everywhere that little twerp's butt sat i found a smear.
clorox please.
febreeze please.
barf bag please.
dear sweet jesus above help me please. i do not have the coping skills to deal with this today. 
so mr. summer vacation you better watch out.
if you keep this nonsense up i will gather all the booger picking, poopie pants, cry baby children in the universe and make you babysit.
consider this your first and last warning.
i mean it.
and that's final.

p.s. did i mention child 2 poked her straw through her capri sun pouch creating old faithful at lunch today? yep. all over the kitchen floor. capri sun's are so dumb. obviously a mother did not invent them.

Have an excellent weekend everyone!:)

Dear Children,

Love, Mom

Next Chapter

Today's a big day for me.

It is the day where Ms. Callahan and I will chat about my future.

Will I go back to college to get my master's degree?

School?

Homework?

All while raising a young family?

People do it all the time. 

People smarter, more disciplined, and much more patient than myself I'm sure. 

I don't know if right now is the appropriate time for me to pursure this dream but,

I'll  never know unless I do my research. 

Master's in Exercise and Wellness for 2014 here I come. Maybe?!

 

Weekend Wrap UP

You see those chips? They are from the devil. The devil I tell ya. They are evil and wrong and bad and oh my word.....DELICIOUS!! Dill pickle deliciousness that is. I ate one just to try it. And then another. And then another. And then maybe another or two. Then I had to have a chat with them. You see, I needed to let them know that it was for the best that we part ways. We had a great relationship and all but, too much of a good thing isn't always a good thing. Know what I mean? Great taste, perfect crunch, just the right punch of flavor...all great. Fat thighs, raw tongue from powdered sourness, heartburn...gifts from the devil. (Or punishment for my own poor choice to indulge in 1/2 a bag.) So Mr. Dill Pickle, here is where I say good-bye. Not for forever though. Although not officially invited, I'm sure you'll make an appearance at the next BBQ.

And that pretty much sums up my Memorial Day Weekend.

Oh yes and...
we went hiking with a potty training 2 yr. old.  Who's idea was that?
I had a fight with a razor. Don't ask. It will give you the jeebies.
We drove around town looking for these. They're super cool btw. 

and the best part...
drum roll please.....
woke up to a GINORMOUS cold sore.

fun.
super duper fun.

Hope you all had a great weekend packed with all sorts of adventure.

It's Tuesday...make it a great one.

p.s. Don't be alarmed, I don't usually create relationships with my food.;)

Hello summer vacation, is it really you?

1:30 PM: Carpool Mom travels to school to pick up her kids on the last day.
1:35 PM: Summer vacation officially begins. Yahoo! Maybe?
1:36 PM: 4 kids hop into carpool Mom's car with massive amounts of very important papers.
1:37 PM: 4 kids beg carpool Mom for play dates, ice cream, swimming, and movies.
1:37 PM: Carpool Mom thinks she might be getting a headache.
1:42 PM: Carpool Mom and her kids walk into their home
1:42 PM: After 180 days, Carpool Mom's kids "forget" to hang up their backpacks. Again.
1:43 PM: Carpool Mom's kids start their after school snack hunt.
1:45 PM: Child 1 yells, "Mom, we don't have anything to eat."
1:46 PM: Child 2 spills chocolate milk. Everywhere.
1:47 PM: Child 3 poops his pants.
1:47 PM: Child 3 starts screaming because he pooped his pants. (potty training sucks)
1:48 PM: Child 1 hurt child 2's feelings.
1:49 PM: Child 2 starts fake crying because her feelings have been hurt.
1:49 PM: Child 1 starts laughing because child 2 is fake crying.
1:50 PM: Carpool Mom gets a phone call from her BFF who hears the chaos and starts to laugh.
1:50 PM: Carpool Mom tells her BFF to shut up. In a very loving way. 
1:51 PM: Carpool Mom makes child 1 apologize, changes poopie underwear, and mops choc. milk.
1:53 PM: Carpool Mom is approx. 20 min. into summer vacation and she can't help ask, "When does school start again?"

Happy summer vacation everyone!
Here's to rough starts, double scoop ice cream cones, and happy endings. 
It can only get better. Right? 

P.S. I'm thinking these would be the perfect summer vacation treat-for my feet!

It's Time

Whatcha doin' today?

Kick Butt Workout

 Are you ready for a workout that will blow your brains out? 

Told ya!

Now that's my kind of workout.

Shopping for the perfect pair of jeans...intense!

Pretty sure I need THIS tank. 

Have you done your cardio today? 

I haven't yet but this evening I'll be visiting my local TJ Maxx. :)

Weekend at my House

oh there I go again with my new photo app obsession.

Happy Monday Everyone!

You see those two hot INSANE babes up there. Those are my new INSANITY friends.

I attended the INSANITY training this weekend. Gilbert you better watch out!

Okay enough of that but maybe I should share that it's a miracle I walked out of the training alive.

Barely alive that is.

hmmm...

what else?

Well, I had a conversation with my BFF about smoothies and poop. And well that conversation just ended with one big belly laugh. Poop can be sorta funny you know. Farts on the other hand-hilarious!

uh...

The lady at the sandwich shop lost her dentures for a moment while making my sandwich. 

She just carried on like nothing had happened and just typing this is making me laugh my guts out because it was so odd and weird and funny all at the same time. Maybe you had to be there?

okay well...

Berkie's potty training is coming along nicely.
Oh darn, should have saved that one for facebook.

oh oh oh...

you must go download the new Vampire Weekend song
Unbelievers
Click HERE for a sneak peak.

here's a good one...

the odometer on my car hit 77777.
Whoo wee! That's what I call LUUUCKEEEE.

and...

seriously?

this post is pretty retarded. 

BUT...

It's Monday. It's almost over. And I hope you made it a great one!
SMILE!

It's A Thong Thing

Did you live back with the dinosaurs when a thong was a piece of footwear not a piece of string up your butt?

ME to.

I have found the thongs aka flip flops of the year.

The price will totally make you say "yeah right" but...

your feet will love them.

I live in AZ. A good pair of flip flops are priceless!

I want them in every color!

I chose the nude and have worn them nonstop since I got them. 

Now that's true LOVE.

Buy yours HERE.

Jump for joy it's FRIDAY.

See you!

P.S. Obviously still obsessing over my new photo app. 

App Obsession

 

Oh boy!

I've got a new MUST HAVE app for you today. 

This one's gonna give instagram a run for their money!

THIS new photo app is uh-maze-ing!

Love the style.

Love the options. 

Love the gals who designed it. 

Their blog is one of my favs!

Read more about it here. 

Here's my first creation and this doesn't even begin to touch the surface of all the fun features you can add to your photos with this app. 

Download today. You'll like it. Promise!

Search "A Beautiful Mess" in the app store.

Enjoy!

THE BEST

Scones.
I love them.
I love them a lot.
I just might love them more than the Nords shoe section!
Nah.
BUT...
please, please, please
do yourself a favor and make THESE lemon blueberry scones.
Seriously. What are you waiting for? Get along now and bake yourself up a batch. 

Thank you hubs for getting up at 6AM to make these for me. IOU if ya know what I mean.;)

Because I deserve it.

Happy Mother's Day to Me. 

Today I'm not going to write a sappy post about how lucky and blessed I am to be a Mom and how wonderful my children are. No, the Mommy blogging world has already covered that topic this weekend (gag). But, I will take a moment to let you know how lucky my children are to have me as their Mom. Yes, you heard me right. They are lucky to have me.

I poor milk on their cereal and butter their toast. I drive them to school and soccer practice and dance lessons daily. I create art projects for them that make big messes. I buy them pretty band-aids for their boo boos. I take them to the library and read them stories. I teach them to serve and love one another. I make them cookies and give them bubble baths. I take them to the zoo even though I hate the zoo. I leave them special notes in their lunches. I dance with them, I laugh with them, I talk with them. I brush their hair and buy them cute shoes. I teach them proper manners. I tell them I love them. I give hugs even when not wanted and I cheer them on. Boy do I cheer them on. Maybe what I'm trying to say is I work my ass off for these three kids of mine.

So,
today is not about gushing over my kids and the joy of motherhood (insert eye roll). Not for me anyway.

Today is about celebrating me. A far from perfect but pretty freakin' awesome Mom!


P.S.  in case you're curious...my new mother's day outfit- sweater:forever 21 (old) | skirt | shoes

Fortunately Unfortunate?

Dear Fortune Cookie God,
I'm not really in the mood.
Does that mean I get sent to fortune cookie Hell?
I'm a little tired is all.
You understand right?
Sincerely,
Mrs. Princess Pookie


Lucy and I had a long overdo girls night last night. This was the fortune in my cookie. Just when I'm dwelling in my own feeling-sorry-for-myself pity (it hasn't been a great week) I get a fortune that tells me to serve. Of course. How unfortunately fortunate is that? Stupid fortune cookie. You didn't even taste that great and I chose to eat you anyway. Serves me right.

Have a wonderful Mother's Day weekend everyone!
I really want THESE but, a day without cooking and a nap will do just fine.
Enjoy!

Thank You Target Follow up

 1. The Modern Updo
(excuse the terrible pic. taking a photo of the back of your own head is not a simple task.)
Going to pick up THESE this weekend for myself for Mother's Day to help fancy up my "modern updo".

2. Airbrush Legs
I'm a big fan. The end.
Warning: read the instructions first.

3. bodycology
I enjoy it but I could take it or leave it. Note: I'm very scent picky!

 

4. Essie "Big Spender"

I actually really like this shade and I'm not a purple person. Lucy pointed out that it even matches the play-doh we were playing with. And while we were playing with that play-doh my mind was thinking Barney. Maybe I don't like it anymore?

 

5. Skittles

Thank you once again Skittles for entertaining my naughty 2 yr old at TJ Maxx today so I could find a few new throw pillows. Once again, you're a life saver.

And...

that's a wrap.

Or a rap. 

Whatever you prefer. 

Thank You Target

A  hair gadget, a beauty product, a new polish..just a few things I'm a sucker for. 

A few items that some how found their way into my Target shopping cart when I went for only toothpaste and cotton balls. Darn you Target, you get me every time!

1. Goodie modern updo. I've always wanted to try one of these. Weird, I know. If I pair with a bubblegum pink pant suit I might catch that perfect 90's secretary look? 2. If you follow any beauty product blog then you know everyone has to have this airbrush tanning product. Consequently, I had to have it. 3. I live in AZ. Hand lotion is not an option unless you don't mind your hands looking like an elephant's butt. This one smells delightful. If you're the citrusy type. 4. "Big Spender" by essie~appropriately named for a Target shopping trip. 5. Skittles~I have a 2 yr old. These have saved my sanity on numerous errand running occasions. I love you Skittles. So does my 2 yr old. 

Do you ever deviate from your Target shopping list?

My Oldest

And just like that,

in the blink of an eye,

he turns 11.

Happy Birthday Kelson. 

Happy weekend everyone!

I will be eating at Red Lobster (birthday boy's choice), sewing polka dot curtains, and cleaning out my closet. 

Speaking of closets, THIS  needs to find its way to mine.

Month of Mom

It's May 1!
Why not start the month of celebrating MOM off right?
A fresh arrangment of peonies and a chocolate banana PB smoothie.
Two of my favorites.
Add the kids tucked in for the night and a sink free of dishes...
you've got yourself one happy Mom!
It truly doesn't take much to please a mom. Am I right?

Here are a few other lovely things currently pleasing my eyes:

 

These wedges are so freakin cute I can hardly stand it.

Trish McEvoy perfume will not disappoint. Ever!

A new pair of V.S. fleece boyfriend pants are the most comfortable loungers around.

Trend Alert: They now come in mint!

WARNING: once entered, you will not want to exit out of these pants.

I'm obsessed with neon yellow and this infinity scarf would to the trick. 

Welcome May. 

Mother's all around the world welcome you lovingly with open arms.